NaNoWriMo loser.

Rain was coming down hard on the first Sunday of this year’s autumn, and the motion of raindrops crashing into the streets was all that happened on the village’s deserted streets. If anyone was to go around here now then all they’d find was families sitting in front of the T.V., or playing board games and trying not to lash out at each other for supposedly cheating. Except for one house. There the entire house was empty but one kid sitting in front of the window, watching water slowly creating increasingly larger puddles. Bill’s parents were off on vacation and now he was waiting for his brother, who had been working for the 14th day in a row. He had promised his younger brother to be home in time for dinner today, but disappointed once more as the time grew closer to 8 o’clock than to 5. Bill’s sad eyes skimmed the street for a sign of his older sibling’s arrival, while the background music for the video game he had paused played behind him in a seemingly endless loop.

On the bicycle road just outside of the village, a young man was racing through the rain to make his way home. His clothes were drenched due to his lack of a raincoat, and the cigarette on his lip could barely keep itself lit. Brian really should’ve been home hours ago, but his supervisor offered him some overtime and God knows Brian needed the money. When he arrived at the village, he kept straight instead of making the left turn to go home. His brakes stopped his bike just in time not to crash into the metal fence in front of the gas station, and he flicked his cigarette into the gutter as he got off. Brian looked through the window and saw that it must’ve been around closing time as the owner was mopping the floor. “Ugh, please not again.” Alice muttered as she saw a soaked Brian walk through the door.
“Good evening, Alice. How‘ve you been?” He said inquiring as he opened the fridge and took out a few cans of energy drink and a six-pack of beer.
“I’ve been good, thank you. Until you dragged your bloody ass in here, I can start all over again in a minute. How are you, then?” Alice sighed as she watched him grab a few hamburgers from the freezer and walk up to the counter. His usually short and unruly brown hair now laid flat upon his head, glistening and almost black in colour. His beard, in contrast to his hair, was a blond and copper one of which the hairs only covered half the area where they should be.
“I’ve been fine, just trying to keep up with everything while my parents are gone. They’ll be in L.A. for about two more months, dad’s finally getting a story published.” Brian replied as he put the shopping goods on the counter. Without him asking, Alice put his usual pack of tobacco and some rolling paper on the list as well. Brian carefully looked her up and down a bit as he reached for his wallet, for the first time noticing her good looks. The permanent blush on her cheeks became even more present when she saw him checking her out.
“That’ll be $15,96, like me to put it in a bag?” She asked as Brian swiped his card through the slot and he just nodded his head as a reply, putting a newly rolled smoke in his mouth. His eyes drifted to the young woman once more as she bent over to grab a plastic bag from under the counter. After she’d put Brian’s newly bought belongings in the bag and handed it to him, his hand slowly stroked over hers as he took it. “G-Guess I’ll see you around sometime.” She mumbled as her face turned bright red once more.
“Yeah, see ya, Alice.” Brian replied with a warm smile before he walked out and made his way home.

Bill had given up on waiting for his brother, and now was on the toilet for a smoke since they weren’t really allowed to smoke in their home. He was about halfway through his cigarette when he heard the backdoor open and shut, and flushed his smoke as he got up to greet his brother in the kitchen. As he looked from the hallway into the kitchen, he saw that it wasn’t Brian who stood there waiting for him. “Damn it, Craig. I thought I told you I’d be asleep?” He snapped at his childhood friend as he grabbed two beers from the refrigerator, handing one to Craig after he popped the caps on the edge of the kitchen counter.
“Sure, you told me. It’s just such a shame that I know you hardly ever sleep. What’re you doing tonight?” Craig replied with his usual charming smile before taking a sip and walking into the living room. There he let himself fall onto the sofa and put his feet up on the table, and Bill followed his example. “Because I’ve got this feeling in my gut that you can sleep in tomorrow.” Craig tilted his bottle and motioned it in circles as if he were holding a wine glass. “Bart told me you got sacked, so I know you’ve got all the time in the world.” He continued with a grin.
“Ah, once again there’s proof that word travels fast in villages like ours.” Bill admitted evasively as both he and Craig rolled a cigarette. Then he got up and fetched the ashtray from the shelf next to the backdoor. “Well, I reckon that there’s nothing wrong with a bit of a shore leave. Surely my mom and dad would agree.” He said in a monotone voice as he walked back in, his eyes glancing at the spots on the sofa’s where his parents usually sat.
“I won‘t argue with you there, but you’ll run out of money some time soon. You’ve only worked for 3 years so you’ve only got 3 pay checks to spend, right?” Craig inquired as he looked at the paused video game on the television. “And I’m fairly certain you’ve already spent the first one on smokes, booze and candy. Am I right?” He grinned as if to say he had his friend all figured out.
“Oh, just shut your bloody trap already.” Bill growled and pulled out a bag of candy from underneath the sofa, with the same look on his face that he had when he was little and his mother caught him stealing cookies.

When Brian arrived at his home, he immediately noticed that the blinds were closed, and Craig’s Derbi was on the driveway. So he sneaked around his own home to the shed and put his bicycle away, and then took off all clothing except for his pants. After hanging them to dry in front of the shed’s heater, he silently went into the house and stood in the kitchen for a while. Craig and Brian were obviously too preoccupied with a video game and their conversation to have noticed someone coming in.
“So, did you do Michelle yet? You’ve been going on about her for quite a while now.” Brian’s 19 year old brother asked his best friend. “Then again, you’ve been going on about that Honda too and I haven’t seen you fixing that either.” Bill grinned as he won yet another race from his younger friend. Not giving him the chance to do anything else, Craig quickly selected “restart” on the post-race menu.
“Hell no, never gonna happen.” He responded as he shoved Bill from the sofa right at the start of the new race. “Tom’s stuck his in there so that’s one reason not to, and he says she’s got a blue waffle. So that’s two reasons not to go there.” He sighed as his opponent slammed his car into a wall halfway through a corner. His response was to use his nitrous boost to get next to Bill’s car and nudge it into an oncoming truck.
“You just had to do that, didn’t you? You’re a wanker, you know that?” Bill said with an aggravated tone.
“Yes, I did and I know that I am. You and I both are. So, judging from your overly cheerful mood I’d say you haven’t gotten laid in a while. Do you at least have half a mind set on a new girlfriend?” Craig asked with a stern sense of concern in his voice, his digital car crossing the finish line first this round.
“Of course I do, it’s that chick who owns the gas station now.” Bill moved around a bit and tried to remember her, specifically her body. “What was her name again, Alicia?” He continued.
“Her name’s Alice, and you’ve got little to no chance, brother.” Brian said loudly as he walked into the living room with a beer in his hand.

Both of the younger guys in the room jumped and their cars crashed into oncoming traffic. Brian chuckled as his brother and Craig threw their controllers on the table. “And how would you know, old man?” Craig asked as he decided to roll a new smoke. “I mean, since when do you know anything about anyone around town?” He continued as he licked the paper and rolled it shut.
“I know because I just saw her 10 minutes ago.” Brian thought back for a second, envisioning the blush on her face and how shy she was compared to the bossy woman she usually was. “In case you never noticed, Alice is a girl who’s looking for a long-term relationship. Bill, for you long-term means getting to spend the night after the 10-minute whirlwind that you call sex.” He paused for a second to let Craig chuckle. “Besides all that, I happen to know she’s already got the hots for someone. So your efforts are useless anyway.” Brian paused again for a second, looking at his bottle like it held the answer to an important question. “Unless I decide that she’s not my type, of course.” He mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for the other two to hear and finished his bottle. “You guys want another one?” He didn’t wait for Bill or Craig to reply and got three new bottles from the fridge.
“Sure thing, you ass. ‘Cause it’s not like the entire town knows you just leech on a girl for about three months, and then move on to the next one. I’d like to see you figure out the meaning of a long-term relationship yourself, other than the one you have with your right hand.” Bill replied as he grabbed the two beers his brother handed to him and he passed one over to Craig, who started laughing at the argument between the two brothers.
“Craig, you shouldn’t be one to laugh. By God, you were the one who almost stuck his in a blue waffle.” Brian said, and now Bill and him were the ones who were laughing. “And didn’t you hear, brother? I ditched my right hand, and am currently going out with my left.’ He looked his younger brother in the eyes with a quasi-displeased face, and continued. “And F.Y.I., it’s not my fault those girls were too suffocating. You of all people should know that I need my space, next to my regular fear of commitment.” Now his voice had turned grim, and he stood up. “Dinner’s on the kitchen counter, microwave hamburgers.” Were Brian’s last words before he went upstairs, picking up another beer on his way through the kitchen.

Brian sat himself down behind his desk, and turned on his laptop while all kinds of thoughts ran through his head. Why did Bill have to rub his nose in his shortcomings, when he himself obviously just made a joke? Was he doomed to spend an eternity going from one bad relationship to another, or would someone like Alice be able to teach him the meaning of true love? Why was she the woman he thought of in his last self-reflecting thought, and why didn’t he notice her before now? He logged onto his account and took a sip of his beer as the laptop signed him in. “Now where’d I put that mail address?” He mumbled to himself as he went through his drawers, ultimately finding it on the desk beside the keyboard. After opening his mail account, he hastily entered the receiver’s e-mail and then started typing the message. After about five minutes, he signed it with his custom autograph and started reading it out loud.

Dear bald guy,

How are things over in the city of angels? Things have been quite hectic here. Bill just lost his job as a welder, and doesn’t seem to be interested in a new workplace. I haven’t told him yet that I got him a spot as a mechanic at my work. As for me, I’ve basically been working non-stop. A 168 hours over the past 14 days, so I’m sure we’ve got enough to last until you and mom are back home.

How are the negotiations with the publishers coming along? I’ve read on the internet that someone bought the movie rights for a book about two young writers, the main characters being a procrastinating young man, and the other being a successful younger woman. Is it true? Are they turning “Imagine You And Me” into a movie? If they do, you should make sure they ask Bon Jovi for the soundtrack. Have you been in touch with aunt Chloe at all lately? You know she’ll get upset with you if she has to find out by herself that you finally finished that book. If you have, and will soon, then tell her I said hello.
Tell mom hello too. No, give them both my love.

Since you’ve always been the brains in our household, and the artist, I figured I’d try to follow in your footsteps. So you’ll find a short story attached to this mail, I hope you’ll read it and give your honest opinion.

I’m kind of worried about Bill. He misses you. Sure, he won’t admit it or talk about it but he really does. It’s the expression in his eyes that gives him away. That, and he’s been drinking increasingly more. I reckon he’s on his 5th or 6th beer since I’ve been home, which was half an hour ago.
Of course, I miss you too. The both of you.

Hope you’re both doing well.

See ya,

Brian.


Brian read it back once more, corrected the last few spelling flaws and then pressed sent. He sat there for a while, looking at the screen, and then realized he forgot to attach the short story. So he quickly opened a new mail, typed in the address again and started typing in the message field.

Bloody hell, forgot the attachment.

This time he made sure the attachment was actually attached. Browsing through the folder with his writing, his eyes rested upon a text file with the title “The Two Best Writers In The World” and he selected it without hesitation. After it loaded he pressed send again and leaned back to watch the stars through his window.

Bill and Craig had given up on video games and now were listening to MTV in the background, as they were building up quite a collection of empty beer bottles on the table. They had both decided on getting drunk a while ago, as neither of them had anywhere to be the next morning. Craig was clearly under much heavier influence of the alcohol in his blood than his friend next to him.
“You can’t go home like this, I hope you realize that. I wish you would have told me you’re on your medication before we started drinking.” Bill said with a disappointed look on his face as he poured his two years younger friend a glass of coke. “So what are your plans for tomorrow?” He asked as he put the glass down on the table and said back down.
“I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but you tend to treat me like I’m a kid sometimes.” Craig responded and attempted to reach for the glass, which apparently was easier than trying not to let it fall from his hands. “As for tomorrow, I thought we could work on the Honda for a while. She sure could use a tune-up.” He answered as he put the glass down after taking a small sip. “We need to get work done on the exhaust, order a new speedometer and fix the handlebars.” He looked beside him to his friend leaning back on the sofa. “The left side is almost completely torn off, and the handle on the right needs to be bent back into place. Though at this point it’d be easier to just replace the entire part. Do you want me to order that too?” Craig followed up on his status report.
“No, that’s fine. If you’ll order the speedometer and weld the exhaust, I’ll work on the handle bars. If we go to sleep now, we could probably be done before noon.” Bill replied with no obvious intention of going to bed, as he was rolling a new smoke. Craig followed his example and held out his lighter to light Bill’s smoke before his own. “Thanks, I’ll turn in after this one. You can crash in my parents bed, but you’ll have to take a shower first. You smell like gasoline.” He continued after taking a few drags from his cancer stick. “You can use my dad’s clean clothes, if he didn’t take everything with him.” Bill grinned as he put out his smoke and got up. “Good night.” He punched Craig on the shoulder and walked out.
“You mean those white ball stranglers? Oh man, that’s just cruel. You’re a sadist wanker, you know that?” Craig called after Bill as he got up too. “Good night to you too!”

Upstairs, Brian was in a deep trance as his fingers semi-automatically typed out a short story on the keyboard in front of him. This one was about a young man and his girlfriend meeting up in the park, just doing the things that teenage couples do when they’re in love. That alone wouldn’t normally suffice for a story of seven paragraphs but he concentrated on depicting the little things they did, like a gentle smile towards each other or the male character rubbing his thumb over the back of the girl’s hand whilst holding it in his. Aunt Chloe once told Brian that his style reminded her of his father’s when he was Brian’s age. They both always tried to write stories that read like they were movies. With that thought he realized how long he hadn’t seen her, maybe she was writing a new bestseller novel. He surely hoped so, since he secretly enjoyed her stories more than those his dad had written. Brian’s father always insisted that he and Bill addressed aunt Chloe with “aunt” when they were children, even though she wasn’t a relative in any way. Even now, as he was 21 years old, he himself insisted on calling her aunt although she told him he didn’t have to anymore. She was an attractive woman, always had been according to Brian’s father. Aunt Chloe was growing towards 40 years now, but he could not tell the difference from the pictures of her and his father that hung in the living room. Except for slightly longer hair, aunt Chloe managed to stop time at the age of 24. Brian let his thoughts run free for a long period of time and revisited all his memories of his father’s best friend, before deciding to send her an e-mail as well. He saved the story he had so far under a bogus name as always, and opened his e-mail account.

You should come over some time, I found dad’s old love letters that were meant for you. That should be good for a few laughs.

Brian chuckled as he pressed send and leaned back in his office chair. If she’d read it the same night then he’d see her first thing the next day, thought aunt Chloe’s definition of first thing the next day usually meant around ten or eleven o’clock instead of his seven o’clock. Brian stood up and walked down the attic stairs, almost bumping into Craig who just came from downstairs. “So, looks like you’re spending the night?” He said to the teenage boy in front of him, who tried to focus his glassy eyes on the person in front of himself.
“What are you talking about? Bill, you just told me I couldn’t go home like this.” Craig muttered as he started looking for some clean towels and underwear.
“Guess I did, sorry.” Brian sighed with a smile on his face, as he scratched himself behind his ear. “Good night, Craig.” He added before going down the second set of stairs.
“Yeah, you already said that too. Good night, Bill.” Craig responded and made his way to the bathroom in a manner that looked more like stumbling than walking. Brian stood in the hallway and waited ‘till he heard the bathroom door shut and the water run before walking towards the living room.

His fingers turned pages back and forth through the phone book. If only he could remember her surname, then this would be a lot easier. He sure as hell wasn’t going to work through all the phone numbers of people with the same initial as Alice. Brian threw the book onto the table and rested his feet on it. Why didn’t he think of this before? His hands clawed the mobile in his trouser’s pocket, and then he opened his mobile web browser. Alice is just a year older than he is, so she should have some online profile of some sort. His browser opened his custom homepage, Google, and typed in the things he did know about her. The combination of her name, age and location was found on three web pages, all three were profile pages and only one showed her last name. Brian sat up and got the phone book again, this time his finger was running across a page to find her number. Near the very end of the page his finger rested on an “A. Atkins”, Alice Atkins. He began to feel slightly stupid right about then ‘cause it’d probably come across as outdated or old fashioned, calling someone on their house phone to ask them out. At that moment, he decided to approach things differently and walked towards the windows at the back side of the house. Peeking from in between the curtains Brian could see that Alice’s lights were still on. He ran upstairs as silently as he could to spray on some deodorant, and put on some clean socks and a shirt. His hands grabbed a jacket as he rushed by the coat hangers in the hallway, then he stepped into his shoes in the kitchen and rolled a smoke. His keys he retrieved from the dinner table and he stepped outside, locking the door behind him. The fire held up to his cigarette lit it up, playfully dancing in the soft autumn breeze. After inhaling his first portion of death, Brian sighed in a relieved manner as he didn’t feel a single drop of rain fall on him. Then he walked out onto velvet veiled street, making his way slowly but determined past the broken light posts.

Craig turned off the water, and reached for the towel he left on the rack to dry himself off. When he stood in front of the mirror, he picked up the white piece of underwear and held it out in front of him with stretched arms. The shower had rinsed away some of the alcohol induced fog from his mind, and the piece of clothing looked even more detestable than before. He let out a deep and long sigh, and put it on with great resentment before checking himself in the mirror. At 5”7’ he’s not the tallest guy around town, but he was slim and slightly muscular which made him somewhat popular with girls. Not that his charming smile, short blond hair and sky blue eyes didn’t help him, all of which he also checked out in his reflection. After a few minutes of self admiration Craig unlocked the bathroom door and made his way to the bedroom of his friend’s parents. He had never visited that room before in his life, but wasn’t the slightest bit surprised when he found another mirror against the left hand wall. His feet dragged him to that mirror and he started looking at himself again. Craig’s fingers stroked through his hair and roughed up his do a bit. “Of course, I’m just that smart that I fix my hair before I go to bed.” He mumbled to himself as he turned around and faced the bed. Now he’d have to take his sweet time to decide on which side of the bed he’d lay himself to rest for the night, since he had never slept in a bed with room for more than one person before. When Craig finally decided to sleep on the right side, he put on some music before he jumped in and turned off the light.

Brian had been standing at Alice’s front door for about ten minutes, all the while wondering if it were best that he’d turn around. He reached for his phone and sent a text to his best friend Jake to make plans for the next day, and then put it in his pocket again. Almost immediately after he did, he realized he originally took it to check the time and now grabbed it again. The hands on the digital clock pointed out that Brian was only 2 hours away from standing there the next day, so he decided to just go through with it and get this over with. Never had he thought that at some point in time, he’d be this straight-forward with a girl. His finger pressed the button and a loud buzzer sounded through the young woman’s house. Nothing happened during the first few agonizing seconds, but then the lights in the hallway turned on and he could see her silhouette standing on the other side of the door. Alice slowly unbolted and unlocked the door, before pulling it open and then stood face to face with her unexpected visitor.
“Well, that’s quite the surprise! What brings you here, Brian?” She asked cheerfully and looked at the eyes of the young man who had been her last customer a few hours before. Her long blond hair hung in front of her face as she bent over to fix the doormat, and for a second Brian’s eyes glanced into her shirt but he almost immediately corrected himself.
“Well, I had a bogus excuse and right now I revealed that it’s a fake, so I might as well just be honest and say that I thought you might like some company.” Brian replied with an insecure smile, and stroked his hand through his hair. He looked at her again, fighting the urge to check out her body again. Alice’s mouth dropped open a bit and she stared at him with disbelief.
“And even then you’re full of shit.” She replied with a stern tone of voice, making him anxiously step back. “You came over because you’re lonely and noticed my stupid behaviour back in the shop.” These words followed from her mouth shortly after, and she stepped close enough to Brian to be in each other’s comfort zone so she could whisper. “I’m smart enough to spot players, users and abusers when they pass by, but you seem to be a good guy. Just don’t toy with me, I have access to a whole lot of flammable liquids.” She said softly to his ear and then stepped back again, highly amused by the disoriented expression on Brian’s face. “You can come in now, if you’d like.” Alice held out her hand to back up her words and Brian locked it in his, pulling her into his arms instead of following her inside.
“How about a stroll under the starry skies instead?” He whispered back and gave Alice a warm smile, to which she thought she saw the stars in his eyes. Her head she laid on his shoulder, and her hand gently squeezed his.
“I don’t think that’d be a great success.” Alice said as she sighed and let him go. “In case you didn’t notice, the sky is filled with thick, grey clouds instead of small spots of light tonight.” She looked down and her expression became somewhat sad, until Brian put his fingers under her chin to raise her head up and they locked eyes.
“Then you’ll just have to shine a little bit brighter.” He said as he closed the door behind her, and then gave her the same warm smile causing Alice to blush again.

“So where are we going anyways?” Alice asked as Brian put his arm around her. “Not to pry or anything ‘cause I’m not exactly curious, I just always want to know everything.” She continued before getting away from him and quickly taking a few steps in front of him. Then she turned around to face him and stick out her tongue, as her hand ran through her long, blond hair that seemed to radiate under the orange light of a light post on their way onto the town’s bridge.
“Oh, nowhere of course! Why would we need a destination if we’ve got all this space to ourselves tonight?” Brian responded as he set chase causing Alice to run ahead even faster. When he finally caught up with her, he locked both his arms around her and turned her towards him. She locked her arms around him as well, and they stood there for what felt like hours. Their faces slowly came closer to each other and for a minute it seemed like they’d meet in the middle, but then Brian let her go and held her hand as he stepped back. “We should probably get you home, you have a gas station to tend to tomorrow.” He said quickly and they started walking home. Both Brian and Alice remained silent for most of the walk back to her home, their swift glances at each other and the gentle squeezes in each others hand being the only signs of communication.
“Don’t you have to work in the morning?” Alice suddenly asked as she stopped in her tracks, looking up at him with a glance of hope in her eyes. She hoped that he’d say no so badly, she’d call her sister to ask if she could cover a day for her. She was amazed by the young man in front of her, they had known each other for a few months now but Alice had never expected this to happen. Or that he’d be such a sweet and responsible guy, for that matter.
“No, I don’t.” Brian replied and Alice came to from her train of thought. “My boss told me to take 3 weeks of paid vacation ‘cause I’ve been working so much lately.” He smiled at her, and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Which is fine with me of course, I haven’t had any decent time to write in months. But why‘d you ask?” He finished and started rolling a cigarette.
“Well, I was hoping we could spend some time together. I don’t know, grab some coffee or something?” Alice said as she put her arms around Brian and held him tight, burying her head in his chest. “Because I really want to get to know you better.” She finished her statement as he put his arms around her too. At least now he couldn’t see her blushing, she thought as they stood there on the middle of the road.
“Well, my aunt is coming over to visit tomorrow but you could come whenever you have the time, if you’d like?” Brian said and immediately realized that it looked like he just invited her to meet his family. “I mean, she’s not actually my aunt but a close friend of the family. I’m sure you’ll recognize her when you meet her, she’s sort of a famous writer.” He corrected himself before letting go of Alice and taking her by the hand again. “And now we’re going to get you home, stubborn girl.” Brian continued and they walked off again.

Roughly about five minutes later, Brian and Alice stood at the front door of Alice’s house again. It was apparent that both of them felt awkward and didn’t know how to keep themselves. “So, I guess this means goodnight then. I can’t stress enough how glad I am that we did this tonight, I haven’t felt this good and carefree in months.” Brian explained as he hung against the door frame, smiling at her.
“Goodnight?” Alice repeated after him, and seemed kind of disappointed. “Does that mean you’re not coming in?” She looked down and started picking at her nails.
“Yeah, it does. I’m sorry, but you do have responsibilities and I don’t want to be the one responsible if you can’t fulfil them.” Brian responded and stepped closer to the beautiful girl in front of him. “Besides, I should get some sleep myself. I’ve been up for almost 20 hours now.” He continued as he looked at the clock in Alice’s hallway.
“Ah, I understand.” She said and smiled weakly as she leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow, and I hope it’ll feel as good and familiar as it did tonight.” The words rolled out of her mouth as she pressed herself against him and looked up into his eyes.
“So do I, and I’m sure that we will.” Brian whispered back and leaned in to kiss the girl on the tip of her nose. “Sweet dreams, Alice.” He said and held her tight for a minute, only to be caught off guard when Alice laid her hand in his neck and pulled his head towards hers for a passionate kiss on the lips.
“G-G.. Goodnight.” Alice stuttered as she quickly turned away to hide her blush, and closed the door behind her. Brian remained outside by himself, and reflected on what happened just a minute before. With his jaw still struggling to get back up off the ground, he turned around and lit up the smoke he rolled earlier.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He mumbled to himself. Never before had a girl stolen the first kiss from him, he was always the first to jump into action. “Son of a bitch.” He followed up and started laughing as he slowly made his way home.

Alice locked and bolted the door behind her, and ran up the stairs to her room where she let herself fall on bed to scream in her pillow. Not necessarily because she was that hysterical, but more because she saw it in a movie or on T.V. once and thought this seemed like the right moment for it. She sat up to reach for the house phone on her nightstand and dialled the number of her younger sister. It rang once, it rang twice, it rang up to six times before she got redirected to the answering machine. “Fine, be that way.” Alice mumbled as she hung up and tossed it back onto the console. She let herself fall back down on her bed, her long blond hair spread out around her head like the flaming sun. Maybe Brian was the guy she was looking for, she thought to herself as no one had ever made her feel that special. Then again, no one had ever tried before. The more she thought about things, the more her eyes grew heavy and Alice slowly started drifting to sleep. Just before she had fallen asleep completely, the phone rang to bring her back to the land of the wake. Her hands grabbed the phone from the console before she had opened her eyes. “Yeah, this is Alice.” She murmured through her pillow.
“Good evening, sis. Rachel here, you rang earlier?” The voice of the teenage girl said on the other end of the conversation. “I’m sorry, I was a bit,” Rachel paused for a second to try and find the right word. “I was a bit preoccupied with Jake.” She continued as Alice sat up straight so she wouldn’t doze off.
“Rach, I don’t even want to know what you mean.” Alice said as she tried to suppress a yawn. “Anyway, a guy showed up on my doorstep to take me out earlier tonight.” She tried to explain but broke out into a yawn mid-sentence, causing Rachel to only make out half of what she said.
“Could you repeat that, sis? I’m sorry but I don’t understand your sandman tongue.” She tried to joke as Alice yawned once more.
“Ha-ha, very funny.” She snapped at her younger sister, as she stared at the old Jet poster on the opposite wall. “I said a guy showed up on my doorstep earlier and wanted to take me out.” Alice repeated as she stood up to start walking around the room. “Well, he meant going out very literally as he only took me out for a walk.” She started explaining as she walked around her room aimlessly, and time started flying by.

Change.

Back when I fucked everything up pretty horribly, I changed my motto to Change Or Die.
Even got a tattoo to show for it.
I lived by it and changed for better some time ago, though there were some minor mishaps after that.

Things between Cindy and me have been fixed, and we're back together for over a month now.
Still recently I've gotten the feeling that my change isn't complete yet.
There's this annoying feeling that there's something I still need to alter if I really want to reach my full potential, and feel comfortable with who I am or what I do.

After looking at the different aspects of my life, tonight I realized it's most probably the fact that I've chosen to chase my dreams down the wrong path.

I've been writing or trying to write for years, and it feels like I've pretty much drained my resources.
Pretty much anything I write that's worth reading is either an adaptation of my own life or that of people around me, all of which I shamelessly keep repeating with some minor changes.

Completely opposite of that, my taste and sense of music is growing like a bacteria; It started off slow, but now keeps expanding at increasingly faster rates.
Several people have told me now that I'd probably be better off doing something with music. Be it as a producer, or a DJ at parties.
I've chosen to take this very seriously, and at least explore my options.
And it just so happens that the CEO of the company where I work has asked me to DJ at the next party they're gonna throw.

So I never stop to evolve, and if I have to give up on writing to find my spot in this world, then so be it.